I haven’t written something in a while and it’s not because I didn’t want to. I had so much inspiration to do just that, but there’s something about me that you do not know…. Most of you who know me personally would say that I am mostly the happiest, friendliest (hopefully, but I know not always) person you might know. I always tell you that everything is good and never really talk about things that I am going through. The reason for that would be, that since childhood I learned to cope on my own with situations… I don’t go and sit in a corner and cry myself to sleep, even though it is a very good thing to do now and then, but I mostly just pick myself up, stare life right in the eyes and say “you hit like a girl” while I wipe the blood off my lip.
No… My husband IS NOT ABUSING ME!!! Haha! He wouldn’t dare… 😉 If he reads this he will now have realized that it wasn’t hormones… You are my soundboard hunny, and a darn good one too! Thank you for still being so calm and accepting of me. I love you sooo much!!
What I am trying to say is that I have recently gone through yet another episode where life got the better (or would I say darker worst) of my emotions and I didn’t want to write about it, because if I would’ve, I could’ve said some really bad and hurtful things to those that life used to get to me, and I believe that you do not fight hurt with hurt. You keep quiet, allow the Lord to heal you and see how His love heals those around you through you. I went through a bit of a sad time… I had to deal with a few things and thank the Lord as always He was right there to catch me when I had to run back into His loving arms.
At the beginning of this year I made a choice to blog everyday and to also take a themed picture everyday for 365 days…. then this episode hit me and some days I barely wanted to get out of bed… It started around the 4th of January (Ironic isn’t it?) My last themed picture was the 3rd of January, and obviously that sad little voice came into my head telling me that I couldn’t even stick to my resolution for one week!! Telling me that I was a failure… How would I do it for 365days???
Then I went on the “girls weekend” with my sister-in-law who has also become a very dear friend to me, and I realized that I will have to pick myself up and shake off the dust. There is no point in trying to please everybody and it steals your joy. Then my birthday came and for the first time in my life I made the decision to get up @ 05:00am and while watching the sunrise spend time with the Lord. That morning of my 28th birthday I felt renewed and recommitted myself to God’s word and His teaching. I have asked Him to give me a teachable spirit, seeing that He has called me to teach others about His word, He needs to teach me first. I have received scripture upon scripture from the Lord telling me to not be afraid, to just be still, He is fighting for me, He goes before me and conquers the enemy! What an amazing promise that is for the new year of my life. I am ever thankful.
I am currently 30weeks and 2 days pregnant with our little girl, and due to stress etc, etc, I had to put my studies on hold for the next 6months… I was heartbroken and didn’t want to do it, but God gave me His peace that surpasses all and I am counting the days until I start again. Please understand that, it wasn’t only my studies of my BTH in Theology that was causing allot of stress, as I mentioned earlier, I was going through a very bad phase. But I am still spending time with God and opening my heart, teachable for His word.
As I was saying…
I am currently in my last trimester of my pregnancy and getting more uncomfortable by the day. This little girl is lying head down and I can feel her preparing for birth on a daily basis… I also read Joyce Meyers’ book “The confident woman.” and it has really helped me get up from the dust and start being the wife and mother that God intended for me to be. I am much more focused on birthing this girl naturally and I have even finished a sewing project!! The first project that I attempt AND finish!! This is going to be a great year!
The pregnancy IS taking its toll on my body, with her lying so low and so forward I do experience slight pain / discomfort daily. It’s like my stomach muscles can’t stretch any further or forward, but I know that God has this all under control and it’s all part of the preparation. That’s something I have come to know quite a bit and that is the word “preparation”. To be prepared for something. That is exactly what pregnancy is, it is preparation for this new life to come out and be the blessing that God intended for this person to be. That’s what each and every one of us is, a blessing. Pregnancy is also a 9 month preparation for the mother and father and other family members to adapt to the idea of having an extra breath in the house. Yes, one that will cry, and poop, and sleep, and stay awake during the night, and cry, and fall, and crawl, and break things, and cry and and and.. Haha! But mostly this new life will bring the most joy and fulfillment into your life that you would’ve never imagined!!
So I believe that there will be more blogs following soon and hopefully on a daily basis from me. I have healed from my black eyes and wiped my lip.
Here’s to you life – YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL!!