Tonight my post will be in English. Simply because I feel that some things are just better said in English or would I say easier?
Mommy wars… We’ve seen them, we’ve caused them, we’ve ended them. Something that has really occurred to me since I became a mom two and a half years ago is how extremely COMPETITIVE moms can be… The sad part is, that it doesn’t start the day your baby is born, it starts the day you announce that you are pregnant! Here are a few examples.
Picture this scenario:
Girl A announces that she is expecting her first baby. – Girl B already has a baby.
Girl A: I AM PREGNANT!! – Girl B (In her mind) Oh boy… just wait until the nausea and heartburn kick in.. Ugh, the swollen feet and the aching muscles.
Girl A: My baby just said her first word at 5 months! – Girl B: Are you sure?? It really only sounds like she’s blowing bubbles… My kid said her first word at 4 months already. I have such a smart kid! *grinz*
Girl A: My baby just started walking on her first birthday!! – Girl B: Uhm yeah, if you call it walking while holding his hand…. Noddy badge for you! My kid walked on his own by 10 months!
And so the list and examples could be endless!! Moms are forever trying to outshine one another…. “I bottle feed.” “No, breast is best.” “I love my disposable nappies.” “Don’t you care about the environment!? What legacy are you leaving your children?” “Hippie.” “I pushed my baby out all natural!” “I had a c-section. Enjoy your incontinence by the time your grandchildren arrive.”
Sheesh moms!!! Can’t we just cut each other some slack!!?? So what if your baby wears “sposies” or cloth diapers? As long as they don’t get a bum rash… So what if you formula or breast feed!? As long as your kid is growing healthy and not being under fed.
Women in general are so competitive and it makes me so sad to see that in such small things we can’t see that each mom is doing what she thinks is best for her child. Every mom is trying her utmost best. Parenting is hard. It’s not a stroll in the park. Gone are the days that you could party until the early morning hours, you exchanged that for mombie mode and you should be proud of it.
Dear tired mommy, this too shall pass.
Your child WILL sleep through, your child WILL start sleeping in his/her own bed, your child WILL stop doing “boobnastics” with your nipples. Just relax and try to enjoy the good with the bad. My son has been having some serious temper tantrums and for the past few days ever since I stopped worrying over it and taking it one tantrum at a time, those too have become less and more easy to control.
Just because your baby was born via c-section it doesn’t mean breastfeeding is going to be difficult, breastfeeding is just as easy after a c-sec than after a natural birth. Just because your child was born all natural it doesn’t mean that your “vajayjay” will never return to her normal size, she will…
I will now be going for my second c-sec and every time I see another mom sharing a post on natural birth and how good and healthy it is for mother and baby, that part of my heart where I longed for a natural birth gets pulled on, but my anatomy down under is simply too small for my giant children… Yes, many moms have given natural birth to very big babies, but their anatomy is suited for it. I am just too small and my giant kid’s would be at risk if I wanted to push them out down there… So in my case a C-sec is the healthier option.
What am I trying to say?
I am trying to say that the day that your fetus’ heart starts beating just a few days after gestation, you are a mom and you only want the best for your baby. Let’s all start working together as mothers, as Lionesses, as Tigresses to protect, nurture and love our children as well as others’ children. Stop worrying about the mom living all organic, or the one raising her kids on soda and crisps, just BE A MOM and respect the opinions and decisions of other moms. we can all learn something from one another. I believe that mothers can give each other better advice in certain cases than doctors. Mothers have experience.
So the next time you see a mom struggling, or tired or in need of a shoulder, don’t check her mom beliefs first. Just be there for her. Help her, wipe her tears and say this to her:
“This too shall pass.”