30 days in.

Today marked 30 days. 30 days of school holiday for my two babies.

30 days of snacks, keeping them busy, not getting enough sleep, NO me-time, someone constantly calling their mom… (That would be me.) 😅 30 days of tadle stories, fighting, bickering, screaming, crying, moaning, tantrums, begging, losing it…

After these 30 days my brain feels like it might just melt and run out my ears. I can’t seem to think clearly and it feels like I am thinking in a fog. I am tired. I don’t have anything concerning my business as motivational speaker and happiness coach ready. I have not set ANY goals. I have just been trying to survive and believe me, I am looking forward to dropping my babies off at school on Wednesday for those few hours.

By now you might be thinking that I am so ungrateful. Some mothers who never had the chance to have babies would’ve been willing to do ANYTHING for this. Other moms have it worse. Single moms are also struggling. At least I only have two. And yes, I completely agree with you.

But if there is one thing that I am not it is ungrateful.

I am grateful for every day I get to spend with my babies. I am grateful that I did not have to work during the school holidays. I am grateful that they are healthy. I am grateful that they are happy. I am grateful that they are clever. I am grateful that they learn how to handle conflict through fighting with each other. I am grateful that they also play together. I am grateful that they love each other. I am grateful that they would rather be at home with me than somewhere else. I am grateful for the times they do play quietly. I am grateful for every “I love you mama.” Shared so freely with me with a hug and a kiss. I am grateful for their soft cheeks and tight hugs, their screams of laughter and their silliness. Bedtime stories and ice cream faces.

I am grateful for every day I get to spend with them.

But, I am also grateful for teachers who are willing to take them and teach them for a couple of hours. A couple of hours where I will get to have a warm cup of coffee, be able to take a proper shower, wash AND dry my hair AND put make-up on. I am grateful for the couple of hours I get to spend on my own, because if I am as tired as I am right now, I can not tend to their needs in the best way that I wish I could. Only if I am cared for I can care for them. That is why I am grateful for being able to spend some time alone.

So the next time you see a mom struggling with a toddler throwing a tantrum over someone breathing too close to him or her. Or a teenager giving their parent the silent treatment. Or even if you hear a mom complaining over the school holiday. Please be kind. Give that mom a nudge of approval. She is doing the best she knows at that moment. Cover her with words such as: “It will get better.” “You are doing a great job.” “Being a mom is the toughest most ungrateful job there could be, but you get paid in pure love and that makes it worth it.”

Just that. Nothing more. Acknowledge her efforts of putting on a clean shirt for the day or having had to choose between make-up or dry shampoo for the umpteenth time. Every mom needs to feel that she is not invisible and she is doing an amazing job and it will get better.

Toodles!

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11 thoughts on “30 days in.

  1. Toortsie sê:

    Soos jy sê, om ma te wees is dievwonderlikste ding op aarde. Uitputtend soms, maar baie vervullend.
    Jy het reg gekies om die tyd aan hulle afvte staan en met hulle te spandeer. Die beplanning en toesprake en al daai goed sal weer in plek val. 😁

  2. woordnoot sê:

    Die toppunt van sibling rivalry hierdie desember is my Baaskind se twee seuntjies. Willem is 11 en MC is ses. MC kom by haar, in trane. “Mamma, Willem was lelik met my!” Sy is verbaas want sy is in die vertrek saam met hulle en Willem het nie ‘n woord gesê nie. Sy wys MC daarop. Sy antwoord is: “Mamma, Willem was lelik met my in sy kop!”

  3. HesterLeyNel sê:

    Ons het nog steeds ‘n spreekwoord in ons huis – ‘n oorblyfsel van die voortdurende gekibbel daar in die beginjare: “Mamma, práát met Boetie!” (menende dat mamma nou haar stem dik moet maak). En mamma se antwoord, in ‘n egalige toonhoogte sonder om op te kyk van haar boek af, is nog steeds: “Boetie, ek praat met jou”. Nou lag ons daaroor, maar destyds was hierdie nie-reaksie ‘n bron van groot frustrasie.

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