‘n Jaar vir gesond word. / A year of healing.

Vroër die week gesels ek met die hubster oor die afgelope klompie maande, eintlik die jaar 2020.

Ons gesels oor baie dinge wat ons moeg en magteloos laat voel het. Die inperking. Die aanvanklike vrees en onsekerheid rondom Covid-19. Die tuisonderrig. Die beurtkrag en nog saam dit ons eie dorp se lekwashedding wat ons vir amper 8ure per dag in die donker gelos het. Vele, vele ander dinge.

Toe begin ons ook oor die goeie dinge gesels. Ons het ons kinders mooi leer ken. Ons het die lewe rustiger gevat. Ons het mekaar ook op ‘n nuwe vlak leer ken.

Ek noem toe aan hom dat hierdie jaar vir my ook ‘n genesingsjaar was. Ek was so opgeneem in my eie emosionele pyn en gejaag om mense tevrede te stel dat ek heeltemal tot stilstand geruk is hierdie jaar en forseer is om met myself te praat. Nie myself oor die vingers te tik nie, dit doen ek gereeld. Ek moes letterlik elke seer vanuit my kinderjare tot my grootmenswees in die gesig staar en deal met dit. Ek moes vir myself sê dit is verby. Ek vergewe hulle en ek vergewe myself. Ek het die bekende en verslawende pyn gegroet en agter gelos.

Mens besef nie hoeveel geraamtes jy vir jouself wegsteek nie. En ek weet daar is nog baie werk wat gedoen moet word, maar my hart voel ligter. Daardie onsmaaklike konstante knop in my keel is kleiner.

Ek dink as jy kan erken jy moet met dinge deal is dit die eerste stap na genesing. Erkenning.

Nou ja, jy mag dalk hier lees en teen jou neus aflyk na my en vinger wys dat ek verkeerd opgetree het in situasies en dit is ok. Ek verstaan dit. Maar maak net seker dat jy ook met jou eie dinge ge-deal het.

Soms is die lewe jou meer goedgesind wanneer jy bereid is om aan jouself te werk. Gedurende al hierdie tyd. Die tye wat ek bang was ek gaan sterf van die pyn, want, -het jy geweet dat fisiese pyn en emosionele pyn op dieselfde vlak is? Jou brein erken fisiese pyn en emosionele pyn op dieselfde golflengtes en “neuro-paths”.

Anyhoo, dit was soms bitter moeilik. Ek het weke lank gehuil en gestoei, maar ek het HOOP gehad! Ek het geweet dit sal tot ‘n einde kom. Ek het geweet dat Christus my hoop is! In Sy Woord het hy my geskool en genees en gehelp. Hoe wonderlik dat ons ‘n God dien wat selfs ons sielkundige kan wees. Ons hart kan genees. Ons seer kan wegvat.

Ek hoop dat jy ook braaf genoeg sal wees om so pad te stap. Om gesond te word en aan te beweeg.

Toodles

English

Earlier this week I chatted with the hubster about the past few months, actually the year 2020.We talked about many things that have made us feel tired and powerless. The lockdown. The initial fear and uncertainty surrounding Covid-19. The homeschooling. The load shedding and together with that our own town's load shedding alongside Escom that left us in the dark for almost 8 hours a day. Many, many other things.Then we also started talking about the good things. We got to know our children really well. We took life more calmly. We also got to know each other on a new level.I then mentioned to him that this year was also a year of healing for me. I was so absorbed in my own emotional pain and rushed to please people that I was completely stopped this year and forced to talk to myself. (Not tapping myself over the fingers, I do this regularly.) I literally had to face every deal from my childhood to my adulthood and deal with it. I had to tell myself it's over. I forgive them and I forgive myself. I greeted the familiar and addictive pain and left it  behind.One does not realize how many skeletons you are hiding from yourself. And I know there is still a lot of work to be done, but my heart feels lighter. That distasteful constant lump in my throat is smaller.I think if you can admit you have to deal with things this is the first step to healing. Recognition.Well yes, you might read here and look down your nose to me and point a finger that I acted wrong in some situations and that's ok. I understand that. But just make sure you deal with your own stuff as well.Sometimes life is more benevolent to you when you are willing to work on yourself.
During all this time. The times I was afraid I was going to die of the pain because, -did you know that physical pain and emotional pain are on the same level? Your brain recognizes physical pain and emotional pain on the same wavelengths and "neuro-paths".Anyhoo, it was bitterly difficult at times. I cried and wrestled for weeks, but I had HOPE! I knew it would come to an end. I knew that Christ was my hope! In His Word he taught and healed and helped me. How wonderful that we serve a God who can even be our psychologist. Our hearts can heal. He can take away your hurt.I hope you will also be brave enough to walk such a path. To be healed and move on.
Toodles

5 thoughts on “‘n Jaar vir gesond word. / A year of healing.

  1. VirgoC sê:

    Dit is groot en harde werk daai, moeilike tree om te stap. Bly vir jou. En ja, 2020 het baie positiewe aspekte, ons focus net meer op die negatiewe. Dankie vir die deel hiervan🌻

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